Author's LJ/DWJ:
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Categories: theme:crackfic, humor, team
Warnings: bit of language, bit of innuendo
Author's Webpage/Fic list: unknown
Link to story: The Art of the Deal
Why this should be read: Aliens made them do it!
...And yet, gen. :)
Hilarious aliens, fabulous Jack voice, clueless Daniel, incredulous Sam, unflappable Teal'c. So much fun!
"Yes," Daniel confirmed. "We are very interested in your Stasis Generator, and Jack and I would gladly perform for you. Although I have to warn you, we won't be like on cable. We're probably not that good. You know, we're explorers and scientists and, uh, tacticians, not - performers."
Carter turned to Jack, her eyes wide, mouth open. Perform? she mouthed at him. Teal'c stayed impassive and focused on the negotiations, but when Jack studied him for a few moments, he caught the twitch of a facial muscle. Dammit, Teal'c was laughing at him.
"We so very unobjectational to this are," seventeen-eyes said sincerely and earnestly. "We have the greatness of understanding this. We would be honorific to visualize whatever performance is most comforting and customer for you, whatever you might typical engage when you are relaxation in your own privacy of home, yes?" The click-click-idjit was almost breathless with excitement.
"Sure. Sure." Daniel didn't sound all that enthused, but that was nothing compared to how he'd be feeling after Jack had a few private minutes with him to share his feelings about this whole situation.
And they'd probably have those few private minutes very soon. Jack winced. Bad choice of words.
"So." Daniel took a breath. "What have you been seeing, Masterpiece Theater?"
Jack turned to stare at him. That's it, he thought. Proof positive. Daniel's an alien. Damn, we should've guessed; not like he did such a hot job of hiding it, really. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Teal'c looking at Daniel with his own version of an 'are you an idiot?' expression. And he was an alien. Hell. Daniel probably wasn't even carbon-based.
Comments
Btw,
I recced it a few years back on stargateficrec, and it's on my personal rec archive. But this is the first time it's been recced here!
Thanks for the DW info - I'll add that to the rec.