Title: Folsom Prison Blues and Proportional Hazards
Author's LJ/DWJ: eve11
Categories: team, humor
Warnings: none
Author's Webpage/Fic list: Eve's fic on lj
Link to story: Folsom Prison Blues and Proportional Hazards

Why this should be read: Best prison fic ever. :)

The team is so used to being tossed into the clink that they have a ratings system (although Teal'c invariably chooses "five.") I adore the humor, the snark, the seamless teamwork, how each person contributes individual skillsets, Sam's use of mathematics to win the SGC pool... and, hands down, entirely un-mattress-like cries!

(There's an extra snippet Eve wrote once in which Daniel calls the mattress "Lumpy." So much love.)


"If we could just explain to them that we're not their enemy--"

"Oh, I think we're a little past that stage," Jack said.

"But we need--"

"Fiery death, Daniel!"

Daniel's shoulders sagged. "Right. We need to get out of here, first."

"By any means necessary." It wasn't how Daniel liked to do things, and violence was certainly not Jack's favorite solution either. But his team did understand; sometimes you had to get out, go home, regroup, and come back with the upper hand. He steered the conversation back on topic; for some reason his mind was still stuck on amulets. Suddenly, he realized why. "I didn't see any amulets," he said.

Daniel lifted his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Whereas I have no idea exactly how many armed guards led us here--"

"Nine," Jack and Teal'c answered in unison.

"--or which direction leads back to the Stargate--"

"That way," came the concurrent reply. Even Carter joined in, poking her arm out past the bars into Daniel's field of view, pointing with the rest of her team back behind Jack and Teal'c and toward the right.

"--but along the way, I did see plenty of statues, bas-relief, and amulets," Daniel said, ticking the sights off on his fingers for emphasis.