Title: Lost in Translation
Author's LJ/DWJ: unknown
Categories: under the influence, drama, team, humor, Walter, Janet, Hammond
Warnings: influence-induced kinda-sorta pairings (nothing explicit)
Author's Webpage/Fic list: Vathara at FF.net
Link to story: Lost in Translation

Why this should be read: A Goa'uld is too lazy to read the instructions, and a rabbit-shaped yellow furball almost takes down the SGC... entirely by accident!

I am very fond of this fic - it was the first ever story I recced! - and it is both hugely entertaining and easy to visualize as an episode happening on-screen. Like many other older FF.net fics, the scene breaks have been stripped out, making it somewhat hard to follow; but trust me when I say that it's worth it. Even with the extra "Danny"s. :)


"So." Jack rattled the cuffs; darn, double-locked. What did you expect? a sane corner of his mind pointed out. You don't catch SG-1 the same way twice. If Danny didn't notice, Teal'c sure would've. "We tell everybody to put on safety glasses, and we go rabbit-hunting. Any ideas how we catch this thing?"

"Cookies," Janet said decisively.

"Cookies?" the colonel repeated. Maybe Danny'd hit him harder than he thought.

The doctor nodded. "When Naomi helped me bring Warner in... it apparently attacked him for his cookies."

"We must lure the creature into containment," Teal'c stated, unrolling a floorplan of the SGC over the table. "It must be insulated, yet small enough to transport through the Stargate."

"Sam might have an idea for that, if we can catch her," Daniel put in. "Or some of SG-7 ought to still be safe."

"I know where Sgt. Siler keeps the foam rolls," Harriman added hesitantly.

Weaving free fingers with manacled ones, Colonel O'Neill listened to the others hammer out a plan. Stargate Command. Earth's portal to the stars. First, last, and best line of defense against the scum of the universe.

And they were going to use cookies to lure a bouncing yellow rabbit into a rubber-lined box.

Jack buried his head in his hands. "Okay, kids. It's official. This is a lousy day."